I've done the Truants twice already and can't think of an excuse to get out of it this time year. This year, because I don't have to worry about protecting them from the usual crowd of Lycra-clad reprobates, I've asked my family to help. Joe and Alfie (14) and Tom (17), plus Sarah (totally ancient) and myself (spritely, virile, prime of my life) will cycle 666 miles in 12 days – yeah, 666 – indoors and outdoors. It won't be easy. The kids are bound to let us down. Then there's all there's all those miles to cycle, and all the nagging to get Joe and Alf off X-Box, and Tom away from the mirror. So c'mon, sponsor us and make it all worthwhile.