As you may be aware, there was a lockdown. Do you remember this? Of course you do. And during that lockdown there was absolutely fuck all to do. But, you were allowed to go out to 'exercise'. Now, quite what this word meant, at the time I didn't know. But it was out. And out meant 'not in'. Which was great. Because we were in all the time like, and that just kinda sucked. So I put an app on my phone to tell me what to do because I can't do anything without an app on my phone to tell me what to do. And it told me, 'hey, you go running on these days for this many minutes, okay?' and I went 'okay, that sounds reasonable'. And before you know it I'm one of those assclowns who are running about on the street looking all pissy and wearing silly clothes. I'm one of them. Like a real one. And then, that app finishes and it's like 'fuck, I'm actually alright at this, I don't pass out walking up the stairs twice now, how should I carry this on?' Because you see, I'd finished the app. Like when you finally finish Mario 3 and you know all the tricks. Sure, you can do it again. But the replay value? Oh the replay value my friend is very small. So anyway, I thought 'right, I need something that will make me do it, because if I don't have something to make me do it, then I won't do it'. So I had a look for races and stuff which were organised and people were like 'Parkrun, blah, Parkrun, blah, Parkrun darling'. But Park-fucking -run isn't, er, running obviously because the world is closed and the future has been cancelled. But then I thought 'what about those runs and stuff that the really big wankers do and put on Facebook and get a tacky medal and shit?'. So I found one - this one infact. And that is why I am doing the run thing. Now give money.